Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Subtlety of My Wickedness

Something has changed within me.
Something is not the same.
I’m through with playing by
The rules of someone else’s game.

- "Defying Gravity," Wicked

Do I look like an adorable little angel with fluffy wings? Believe me, you’re not seeing some apocalyptic vision. And yes, the shining golden halo on my head isn’t some fiery comet that’s about to hit your pimply face.

The thing is, the angel’s just a personality.

On the contrary, I can also be a little wicked.

Okay, I can be really wicked.

* A wolf howls in the distance *

Fine, so I am pretty much a green evil monster.

But I believe wickedness is relative. I mean, come one, a guy spills boiling hot coffee all over your designer underwear and he’s not evil for doing that?

Fyi, Jarby’s wickedness is only reserved for equally wicked creatures and instances. Here's a short list.

1. Bratty Little Kids

These are the kids – say, grade one pupils – who know and can utter with adult confidence more swear words than I. Beneath their impish facades are ram-like monsters ready to pounce on unsuspecting non-parents, then transform back into immature stinky dummies when real parents do come along.

They make me wanna cry out to the whole uncaring world: What’s wrong with the children?! Man, at that age, people my age weren’t even capable of saying gaga and gago. Now here's a new breed of mutants who middle-finger strangers just for the heck of it!

Once, I was doing my hokbu rounds and then suddenly, this stupid first grader bumps into me. I said, “Slowly, don’t run.” Know what she said? Gago ka, gusto mo ma-away?!

Where are the moms and dads of these brats? Here are a few words: Your children stink! They ought to be roasted… like chicken.

2. Bratty Chain Staffers Who Don’t Respect The Deadline

Yes, let's all make the editor-in-chief wait for your articles, because who cares about the deadline anyway? One of you even sent me an e-mail that’s sufficient ground for electrocution.

No, my two female readers, you don’t seem to be part of this group.

3. Unmindful Sidewalkers

When you’re walking down the sidewalk, and then suddenly, this man stops in front of you to check out a couple of peanuts and completely blocking your way, how’d you feel????!!!!

Dancing through life,
Skimming the surface,
Gliding where turf is smoo-ooth.

- "Dancing Through Life," Wicked

Oh, man, I blew my brains off just writing this. So now you see why Jarby can be quite wicked at times. I only reserve my wickedness for wickeds themselves… except for Wicked the Musical.

Who can say if I’ve been
Changed for the better?
But because I knew you,
I have been changed for good.

- "For Good," Wicked

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