V-Day

If you haven’t watched this movie yet, and are planning on doing so, be prepared for a roller coaster ride. Literally. There are more than a dozen names from Hollywood, cross-stitched into probably the most complex story I’ve ever come across with after 2006’s Babel. At least Babel worked out just fine.

Having received mostly negative reviews, Valentine's Day is surely not for the easily-lost. I read somewhere yesterday that when it comes to this film, it’s either you like the complex web of the story, or you totally hate it. Well, I like it. But that’s not to say there weren’t any ups and downs.

FROM THE TREE OF LIFE:

*** Jessica Biel. I think I have quite some affinity with neurotic characters (think Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds, Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men). Or at least, those who choose to be different and stand up for what they believe in (as in Meryl Streep in Doubt – you hear that, Oscars committee?). By going against the flow of Heart’s Day, she provided a bit of contrast to an otherwise mushy silver screen. Until a log in the form of Jamie Foxx hit her and carried her down the river.

*** Anne Hathaway. At the start of the decade, a princess; at the end, a phone-sex operator. Quite some progress there. But then again, she and her dirty little secret worked out all right.

*** Julia Roberts. Yes, I love Julia Roberts – smile and all. Forget her out-of-nowhere subplot – she did her part well. Well, well enough for me.

*** Taylor Swift (???). Well, I have to say, she was convincing as a dumb blonde. An extremely DUMB blonde. Maybe she should abandon those Grammys and VMAs for more dumb-blonde roles. At least Kanye won’t be on set to grab her fan or something.

FROM THE TREE OF GOOD AND EVIL:

*** Taylor Swift (!!!). To some extent, I agree with majority of American critics. She was distracting. I mean, sure, she was crassly funny and all – but a mess, nonetheless. Though I can’t really say that I hated her performance, there’s just something about her in that movie that wasn’t good.

*** The OLD COUPLE. Definitely and obviously unoriginal. Oh look, here’s the executive assistant of Julie Andrews in The Princess Diaries as the wise grandfather. Surprise, surprise, granddaddy knows best – except when it comes to grandma’s secret love affair in the past. And grandma was just as eeew.

*** THE CHILDREN. Be it the main star (whoever he is), to the little Indian girl, to the cameo appearances. They’re all brats!!! And why on earth are these children busying themselves with hearts and roses on Valentine’s Day??? It’s this sort of thing that’s destroying the minds of the little children and society's brain. They should be studying for their future - all those lovey-dovey things can come later. Which reminds me: Why on earth was Jennifer Garner's schoolteacher talking about moles (as in 1 mole = 6.02 x 10 to the 23rd particles) in fifth grade??? Either Philippine education is totally behind, or it's all one minor film faux pas. Happy Chinese New Year!