Friday, October 16, 2009

Gorilla

I miss talking about the nasty high school that I attended and all its minions. No, I’m not being nostalgic (well, not as of the moment). I just happened to remember yesterday an incident involving me and my 4th year Chinese class adviser… something that screams of pure, genuine, untainted absurdity.

Now, if you don’t know who my teacher is (and not many of you readers do), let me introduce him by saying that only a dimwitted gorilla can ever compare to him in this world. In short, he teaches crap and, somehow, is crap itself. A piece of advice: If you want to learn Chinese, he’s one of the last persons you’d want to approach.

My fellow math team members and I were reviewing for a contest that morning, when the pseudo-queen a.k.a. gay overall director of the high school math teams barged in during the session. He-She asked, “So what have you been doing lately in Chinese class?” Humorously, we answered, “Nothing.” I answered, “Uh, nothing… it’s actually just rest time.”

Note that the pseudo-queen is also somewhat dimwitted; thus, he-she took our reply seriously. Without further question. And that the pseudo-queen has a seat of power in school, which he-she uses to lure his-her prey (if you know what I mean).

That afternoon, while still reviewing (therefore, not attending class), the gorilla called me and said it wished to have a quick word with me outside the faculty lounge where we were. Of course, without any idea as to what it was going to be, I followed suit.

When I got outside, the gorilla said, “Pseudo-queen called me earlier and asked why I'm not teaching you kids anything during class, why I haven’t been conducting ‘real’ class. I said, who told you that? He said, (I, author of this blog) did.”

I was utterly speechless, my mind racing to come up with the most reasonable excuse for that ‘statement’.

Then, the dumbest part came.

He asked me, “Are you mad at me or something, that you said that to him???”

My mind raced even faster.

Why would I be mad at you??? I don’t have time to be angry with gorillas. Stupid pseudo-queen took our answer that morning for real - and the slimy vixen name-dropped!

The gorilla, with that statement, made it clear to me that he believes himself to be an excellent teacher.

Anyway, I came up with a brilliant answer, and the rest is history. What’s bad-worse-worst though is that the gorilla is still there, in my former high school, teaching the unfortunate kids crap.

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