Friday, August 1, 2008

Discrimination

Today, I'm gonna talk about a very random subject. It's something that really matters in today's sacrilegious generation and it's also one that really interests me.

Now if you've come here to read about the usual thingies, then it's better for you to just leave. But heck, I don't even know if what I'm about to write are the usual thingies.

So, discrimination.

First of all, whoever coined this term? Because I don't cracking like it! Just kidding; whoever you are/were, just leave a comment and I'll build you a monument. And do specify your preferred location for the monument that's never gonna rise. I love the word; don't you just love it?! I mean, just observe the way it twirls in your tongue and how the a in -mination gets the most screen time. See?! There's already discrimination in the word itself, because whenever every Earthling says this word, a is the one being stressed! How come it's not -tion? Or dis-, or -cri-, or even more pathetically, -min-, because it always gets to follow Mr. Stressed?! Elementary science lab class: Therefore, I conclude that discrimination discriminates itself. And also, that the stresses of the Engliiiiish language are the main cause of verbal prejudice.

Now let me share with you the two newest additions to the ever-growing list of... discriminaaaaations: First, we have ID. That's for intellectual discriminaaaaation. Guavish people already know about this. And only Guavish people know about this – well, if you exclude some of my family. So, by faulty reasoning, we can therefore come up with the grandest conclusion that ID has its roots in the realm of Guavish people, a.k.a. the dumpsite that is ICCHS’s senior class, Guava section, room (insert confusing room number here).

Now what is ID all about? If, in a class of thirty-eight students, you get to be singled out most of the time as being the brightest and smartest among the XXXVIII, or worse, among the entire graduating batch, then that’s ID. If you’re always expected to answer every single damned question coming from the speaker-up-front’s mouth, or if you’re always expected to act as a 1st Honors would supposedly act (which is stereotyping), then that’s ID. Get itzzz?!

The second one, which I’ve just… discovered this morning, is Hiligaynon meat discriminaaaaation or HMD. This one is a lesser felony compared to the previous one by probably ten decimal places. That’s because it’s already buried deep down the bulbous veins of Ilonggo culture. For dummies out there (this is also a form of ID), Hiligaynon is what we, the people who are proud to be the inhabitants of Iloilo, commonly speak. And pleeeaaase, if you don’t happen to be Ilonggo, don’t ev-verrr attempt to stereotype Ilonggos or Bisayans, like in those wretched movies, as idiots or people who speak in funny accents. Let’s see you try speaking in Hiligaynon then!!! Maybe you’d sound even worse than a snoring swine!!!

Now, what is chicken meat in Hiligaynon? Manok. Pork? Baboy. Cow, Sheep, Goat, and who-knows-what-else? Karne. Get the general idea?! If you don’t, I suggest you try putting it this way: Grab a pillow and hit your head with it, and see if your head goes itchy-red.

Here’s a disclaimer, or whatever you call it: I’m not actually sure if the information in the preceding paragraph are actually correct and accurate down to the last drop of ink. So if you have any knowledge about those, feel free to tell me about them.

Well now, I do hope you enjoyed your stay!

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