Sunday, July 26, 2009

Walt Disney films in the UP curriculum

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DEPARTMENT OF JARBINITY
First Departmental Examination
The Lion King and The Lion King 2: Pride of Simba

Use a bluebook to answer the exam. Do not copy the question; only the corresponding roman number of the question, and the answers should be written. Failure to follow instructions will mean ZERO.

I. Choose between The Lion King and The Lion King 2, and plot the film storyline in boxes. (20 pts)

II. Diagram the interconnecting families of Mufasa and Scar, up to the third generation. (20 pts)

III. In ‘The Lion King’, who are the three hyenas who tried to kill the young Simba and Nala in the Elephant Graveyard, and specify the gender of each. (6 pts)

IV. What kind of animal is: 1. Timon; 2. Pumba 3. Rafiki. 4. Zazu (1 pt each)

Perfect Score: 50 points.
Passing Score: 30 points.

There is light beyond the darkness. God bless!
- Jarby
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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Diliman

Yesterday was fun.

Went with Thea, Niko, and OJ/ Orven/ Orjy/ Orjy/ Orven Jules/ Jules to UP Diliman.

First time to ride the LRT and MRT! Not that I don't take public transport (duh), but one's first time to use the trains of Manila is always cause for celebration. Got off at Q-Ave station, rode an Ikot to Palma Hall.

Sat in with Orjy in his high school (Pisay) friends' Chem 16 Lab class.

Ate at the Beach House, which was “so primitive.” After lunch, met with, among others, a classmate nicknamed Delmoan, who made all sorts of zoo animal moans (actually, only those which he thought were common and inexpensive, like the sea lion, which should be sound like “a bitch,” the snake and Voldemort, and the walrus). The walrus moan is the best moan man will ever hear.

After that, went to the Library, where I taught Celina and Cherry the Lion King family tree. Then, to the Marine Research Institute, where OJ became nostalgic. Then, met up with the Pisay people’s senior year adviser (soooo white). It was an incomprehensible moment.

Sat in in friends’ Math 17 class with the gay teacher who reads everything that he writes on the board (conscious, perhaps, that Imed people were there?). Back to Manila.

Historical Points of the Day for Me:
1. first time to ride the LRT and MRT
2. first time to use an overpass in Manila
3. first time to ride jeepney in Quezon City
4. first time to go to Diliman
5. first time to walk inside Trinoma

The Referent Theory of Talking

Consider two healthy and normal individuals A and B. A is communicating with B in the form of words, by the act of speaking. Thus, we say that A and B are talking to each other, with A as the speaker and B as the listener.

The Referent Theory of Talking states that if A, who is the speaker, looks at B in the eye while talking, then A therefore is talking to B and not to any other being. All the same, if B responds to the look directed at him by A (by also looking at A or in some other specific bodily response that can be considered a "response" [see chapter on "Human Response"]), then B therefore is the person being talked to by A. If A is talking while not looking B in the eye, but has the front of his body positioned in the direction of B, then we may say that A is talking to B.

Now, for homework: Spot the fallacies or errors that can be found in the Theory.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

It's All About the Free Sundae

I celebrated my birthday again last night.

Of course, my birthday is already a good two months past. So why the celebration?

You’ve heard of Gumbo’s, no? Not so famous outside of Manila. Anyway, it’s this French Quarter restaurant where they make a big fuss over your birthday by giving you a free candle-topped sundae while crowning you with some fancy masquerade hat, while the restaurant crew serenade you with some fancy birthday chant. But first, someone has to ‘let slip’ to the manager or any of the personnel that it’s your birthday; otherwise, who'd care?

That's what we did. Dear auntie told our server that it's my "birthday" – and the server took it seriously (as if he had a choice).

At dinner's end – GABOOSH!!! – out came the crew, with a fuzzy hat with red plumage and fancy artwork and glitter and whatever, and of course, a free sundae. And I had to blow the candle, too, and smile and pretend to enjoy everything as if it really were my birthday.

Spell crazy.

Moral of the story: If ever you happen to eat at Gumbo’s and are craving for sundae, tell them that exactly how many years ago, on this very day, your mother’s vagina expanded to an elephantine size and spewed you out.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

This Araw of Glory, 2

Date: July 15, 2009
Time: around 8:50 p.m.
Mood: cheerful

Happy birthday to The World According to Jarby!!!

Finally, my blog is one year old. As a parent, I am speechless.

Which is why I’m writing all of the ‘speech’ in here.

One year ago, this blogspace was just a tiny shoot of grass, bearing a tiny sparkle of dew.

Today, it has grown into a majestic garden.

Happy birthday, The World According to Jarby!!!

May you become a legend in the world of blogging.

*tears of joy*

Sunday, July 12, 2009

soliloquy of a six-point slip

In response to my disastrous first exam in Math 17.

We do not live to collect 1.00’s and proudly stash them in our schoolbags, for the noble flat-ones serve only as chariots in our quest for excellence, as guides in this trek towards mathematical salvation, and as the Northern Stars of our voyage towards the Eden of Numbers.

We do not live to the dictates of glorious heritages, however grand the illusions they create to the untrained eyes, nor do we let such cultures spell the workings of our every day.

We are not walking calculators: born to solve the 13th root of m raised to the 22nd power and divided by a radical that’s twice the conjugate of the first; created to complete every blank on a mathematical paper with vaguer statements; designed to satisfy the whims of ancestors.

We cannot let ourselves be conquered by the false glory that an 85 over 85, or even an 80, emanates.

We simply cannot keep still while being pushed around by lesser mortals, all telling us to ‘reach for the stars’, when it is, foremost, the stars’ intention to be distant so that there will be something for us to chase on our own.

We do not content ourselves with mediocrity, neither do we resign ourselves to the fact that mediocre is what we were born to be.

From the bottom of the ocean, the rays of sunlight shimmer with brilliance; from here, we swim our way to the splendid surface.

A mountaineer who climbs a mountain, slides back, and climbs again eventually reaches the peak.

We are not at the top, for it is only through being not on top that we can freely and grandly reach the top.

Let others say what they want to say and think what they want to think, but we shall silently work our magic and build our grandest staircase to the topmost floor.

Just wait, just be patient, just be focused. Work hard and have faith.

The fallen shall rise again.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

90 points

I just had my first real taste of a Math 17 DepEx.

In other words, what on earth were those quizzes and buddy stuff and whatever-elses for? Because, hell yeah, I don’t think they were light years more difficult (nor in anyway more difficult) than the one exam that we’d just gobbled up at RH.

Weren’t we told that the exam would be one notch lower than what we’d been trained to hurdle in the classroom? Um, well don’t ask me, I don’t know. How the hell should an estuarine crocodile survive in the Ross Sea?

Fluffy the Bitch gave birth to a pup this Sunday(?) It’s half-black, half-white, which is, to paraphrase, simply adorable.

My head is not in its proper state right now. I’m all dazed (if it isn’t too obvious). It’s like everything inside my brain’s turned into improper fractions that can still be simplified to become integers or worse, ones or zeros.

Hello??? I’m not thinking properly right now. My mind’s all boogy.

I’ll come back when I’m in a sane-enough circumstance already.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

two first exams in three days' time

It’s July now.

Which means I’ve actually lived three whole weeks of my existence as a UPM denizen. Isn’t it amazing or what?

Math 17 on Tuesday, History on Thursday, Ice Age 3 on ____day!

The Jarbisciples have grown in number. Is this a good thing? Well, at least it still doesn’t feel like a drunken mob’s peering through my brain… but that’s what this blog’s supposed to be, isn’t it? A part of my brain… so then, why be concerned about a stupid mob peering through my brain if the main function of this blog is be an outgrowth of my brain?

USC Quiz Bee – one great quiz bee. Mindbreakers – stupid quiz bee.