Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Porn Pirate

Something really, really hilarious happened to me while I was waiting for the car after my haircut.

I was standing on the sidewalk of that area just before Marymart Mall, you know, at Valeria. That place that looks as though it’s meant to be a dingy flea market but wasn’t made into one due to space constraints. Anyway, I do know that there are a lot of creepy weird men (read: tambays) hanging around that place, men whom you simply wouldn't want to have eye contact with.

Well I was doing my waiting when this man approached me. His blue shirt and queer aura painted an image of a hooker in my mind. But he wasn't a hooker - close, though.

Anyway, he whispered something to me. I said, rather harshly and out of confusion, “Ano?”

He whispered again. "Ano?" I repeated.

This time, he was crystal clear: Makuha ka X?

“You want some porn?”

“Do I look like someone who’s up for buying porn?!?” That's obviously not what I said. Instead, I casually gave him a no, and he started rattling off his offers. Merong tagalong, pompom (or whatever that is)…

Turns out, those men hanging about the place are porn pirates, very persistent ones.

I thought of something straight out of a Hollywood flick. Oh come on, back off. Felt good.

Then, I walked away. That's the uncensored ending.

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