Monday, May 25, 2009

Eat Your Ice Cream!

I am being forced to eat ice cream.

Not that there’s anything wrong with eating ice cream though. It’s just that… I’m being forced to eat it. Hear that? F-o-r-c-e-d. I mean, come on, there are gazillions of mommies out there all trying to prevent their children from getting to the fridge and grabbing the ice cream – and here’s my own mother, forcing me to eat some?! How coolly crazy is that?!

And you know what’s so big about all this? She actually asked me three times if I want to eat some (to which I gave three bored nos), then went into an absolutely crazy oratory about missed opportunities and it’s-so-hot-right-now and all that brouhaha. And without further ado, I just found a cup of ice cream in front of my bewildered eyes.

I can’t believe this. Why do people assume that you didn’t hear them the first time when you nonchalantly answered a no to a question that they expected you to give a yes to? This is outrageous.

Why bother asking a question when you already have an answer in mind?

Geeez, and now she’s hurrying me up into finishing the supposedly molten ice cream. Oh man, will I be like this at fortyish? “Hey kiddo, want some ice cream? And finish it up quickly!”

I’m not in a right state of mind right now. Blame the ice cream.

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